I asked Alexa to play the “RENT” soundtrack and I unknowingly was opening Pandora’s Box on a slow Saturday morning. I love this soundtrack…know every song…inflection…vibrato…all five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
However, this morning I found myself reliving what it was like for me–a young Black gay queer person, growing up at a time when I imagined the bleak future portrayed in this play was all I had to live for.
“RENT” portrayed a period in the 1990s when I was growing up in New York still unsure of who I was. And it came out in 2005 not too long after I graduate from college during a time when I was fighting to understand why, and change, the future I believed I was destined for had to be true.
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This morning I wept. I wept for that dark time in humanities shared experience, for my fears then and now, for my mother who died during this time, for the struggles fought to be here, for the future unknown, for the battles left to be fought, for the people who continue to fight for more, for not having given myself a chance to truly live.
As a young person I had killed myself before I had given myself a chance to live–the future for me was bleak. I don’t want anyone to see the end of their life before they have even had the chance to live truly as who they were always were meant to be.
