its been an interesting time as i have watched my contemporaries in the gay world begin and end the courtship ritual to create a new relationship with a new counterpart. i say interesting because the gay courtship ritual is still one with which i struggle to comprehend.

true to form there is the notion of attraction at some level on the parts of both parties involved in the courtship, there is the general period of the chase (sometimes lasting only moments other times last weeks), then the tricky part is the part of capture or capitulation–depending on how the other party sees the situation. maybe its not capture or capitulation…maybe it morphs into a desire to be wanted or to be with another. ok, ok…so this is where i have been struggling to keep up with my contemporaries.

somehow it seems that this part of the courtship ritual, from henceforth i will refer to it as CoC, has been lost on me…or i have missed when it is occurring with my contemporaries and their counterparts. it may also be why i myself have not come to the finale of the courtship ritual in recent times.

CoC becomes a complete issue as it reflects a notion of power dynamics in a relationship of counterparts. the first to give-in during the CoC point somehow may get a sense that they are giving the upper hand to their counterpart. maybe i have missed this phase of my contemporaries courtship rituals because they are the ones “giving-in”? or maybe in the new gay courtship ritual the CoC no longer exists in the fashion as i have crafted it in my mind?

i find that i am quick to get to the CoC point because i don’t want to waste my time or that of another if i am not wanting to be captured or willing to capitulate. could it be that i am the only one really defining this segment of the courtship ritual? well sure i may be the only one to give it a title…but i can’t imagine others haven’t realized this as a full segment of the process?

oye…well, consider it…and get back to me.

capture or capitulate