That’s right our favorite gay-Jamaican-Jew became a U.S. citizen just in time to compete to be America’s Gay Bachelor! Mr. Densil R. R. Porteous, II has been selected to represent the state of O-H in a special contest that I’m imagining to be like Miss America for the gays. Because all of you are not fortunate enough to know D-money as well as I do, I decided to outline just how he would perform in the categories of the typical pageant:

Evening gown: He doesn’t even really wear shorts, so I’m faaaairly certain a dress would be out. However, as you can see here, he’s got the formal section down. Check.
Talent: Forget the singing and dancing (he does both well), he had the talent of surviving an ongoing performance in the long-running melodrama/improv show, Working at Stanford’s Admission Office. Although it’s not up for any awards, I can attest to the difficulty of performing this role everyday with little time to eat or sleep… and it takes talents you couldn’t even imagine.
Swimsuit: He once (nearly) got kicked out of a hotel pool area for his questionably appropriate swimsuit. Need I say more?
Personality: Check out what he has to say about himself in the interview portion before you vote (once per IP address)! Oh yeah, and if he makes it to the top five, there’s even an actual pageant (read: Gay Pride San Diego) – the big, televised finale takes place in mid-July at the W Hotel SD. We all need a little excuse to take a SoCal vacay!

In the words of Mr. Porteous himself, “A-maaaa-zing!” and smooches,