10:21pm Tania
how is it going?

10:21pm Densil
ah…being overly emotional lately

10:23pm Tania
life can do that to us
plus its also that time of year
well if you feel like chatting about it, I am here

10:23pm Densil
o it has nothing to do with the the “time of year” its all about relationships…
well the sexual relationship kind

10:24pm Tania
go on…

10:26pm Densil
its just trying to make these things work is a lot of work. well i mean its even more work when you dont know where people stand.
i think its more i am at that age. where i think i should be in a relationship working towards a solid commitment

10:28pm Tania
i hear you on that one
although I am seeing more and more people are doing that later

10:29pm Densil
yeah well later doesnt really fit in to my plan. there is a level of emptiness in dating that i am no longer interested in. i dont want to turn the wheels with someone who i am sure is not going to be something more than a placeholder.
i’ve done the placeholder thing…i am over it.

10:30pm Tania
I always joke with my friends that if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans, you know…

10:34pm Densil
one has to also assume that the personal motivations we have come from a predetermined plan and we are just enacting those plans.

10:35pm Densil
one has to believe that our motivations come from some where else? i dont just make it up as i go along? its there? its already set… i really believe everything happens for a reason.

10:36pm Densil
i guess i never really bought into the idea of chaos theory…
and even in chaos theory there is some form of order.

Post conversation thoughts:
so everything does happen for a reason? i mean we enact situations that are already planned out by a “higher power”? even though i make 5 year plans for my life…arent these plans already in existence and i am just now putting them down?

the emotional wreck i seem to be now…wanst that already planned? and while i dont know what will happen next…what is supposed to happen will happen at the right time. what complicates life is the unknown…what complicates my life is the unknown. i need to get better and being ok with the unknown. i need to get better at it because i do believe everything happens for a reason.